


therapy

by over5feettall



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/over5feettall/pseuds/over5feettall
Summary: Asahi's graduating now and Nishinoya still has a year of school left. It's inevitable that they'll be apart from each other but how will they work things out? Will they even work it out?
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Kudos: 17





	therapy

**Author's Note:**

> -  
> got the chance to be part of a collab with amazing hq writers !! it’s my first shot at writing a song fic and a ship fic as well so i hope i did okay? hshdhs the pairing featured in this fic is asanoya and honestly, i find myself shipping them even more after writing this :’))
> 
> big thanks to @kxgeyamasmilk, @kingkags, @hairbleachwhore, and @akaashit-baeji (on tumblr) for beta reading!! with me writing this mostly past 3 am, there were a lot of errors that i had to fix hsdhg and def a lot of improvements as well!! thank you for helping me make this fic one of my best ones :>>
> 
> you can find me on tumblr by searching @over5feettall !

“So, graduation, huh?” Nishinoya started, his gaze casted downwards.

He looked up to witness the long-haired brunette nervously gulping and loosening his collar by unbuttoning a single button (as if it would help him breathe better). “Yeah.”

The smaller figure looked away and hummed. He looked back at the taller one and asked, "Where are you going for college?" 

Silence ensued. Avoiding how his eyes seemingly peered into him, desperate for an answer, he muttered, "Tokyo."

"Oh."

All he could do was chuckle bitterly at his answer, he didn’t like what he heard at all. 

Asahi sighed, "I'm sorry, it's the only choice I have."

"No, no, it's okay, really," Nishinoya breathed out. "I just wasn't expecting this."

"You should have," his boyfriend mumbled. 

"I know!" Nishinoya snapped, shocking him with his sudden outburst.

_**I don't mean to come off aggressive (no)  
I'm just here to pass off the message (yeah) **_

His throat suddenly felt dry as he just realized how harsh he sounded. He regretted it immediately when he saw the look of hurt that flashed on his partner’s face.

“I know, I know,” his voice became softer, hoping his partner understands that he didn’t mean to be aggressive. 

They were both currently in an empty park, sitting on a bench as the breeze swept dead leaves all over the ground. With quivering breaths, he dropped his now-pounding head on his hands, propping his elbows on his knees. 

"I expected this, I did, I just… I just dreaded this moment," he murmured with heavy breaths. 

_**'Cause you were in my head when  
I thought I lost my mind** _

He felt like gasping for air, in this current situation he felt trapped– no, drowning. Drowning in a deep, bottomless abyss that he couldn’t surface from. 

_**I'm tripping off your love and all the other drugs we taking  
Over all the others, you're the one all over me** _

He knew what he got himself into when his relationship with Asahi blossomed into something more. But did he prepare himself for what he was about to eventually face? No. Well, maybe, but poorly.

And did the man beside him also know what he got himself into when he started dating the Nishinoya Yuu? The one who others saw as problematic, childish, and maybe even unworthy of love. 

"I shouldn't have said that. I’m sorry," he mumbled. 

Chuckling bitterly while shaking his head, Nishinoya refused to utter another word. He was blinking rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling. Yet before he knew it, he saw droplets on the blurred pavement he was staring at. It became harder for him to breathe as he started sniffling, giving away the fact that he was crying.

_**I'm fiendin' off, fiendin' off you** _

"Noya, please, look at me," Asahi begged, his voice was strained. Maybe he's having a difficult time as well?

_**I'm needin', needin' you** _

Reluctantly, he looked up and saw the most disheartening look he's ever seen in his life, painted right on the face of the man beside him. His forehead furrowed, lips pressed together, and an unreadable yet somewhat gloomy emotion on his eyes.

"We can make things work, okay?" Asahi croaked, a sad smile making its way onto his lips.

"Can we?" Nishinoya asked, a mix of frustration and helplessness expressed in his tone. "Should we even try?"

"Yes, we could, I'm sure of it," he frantically nodded as he wiped away some of the stray tears on his soulmate's flushed face.

Breaking away from his touch, Nishinoya shook his head. "I-I don't know, Asahi."

"I need to go, my grandpa might start looking for me," Nishinoya stood up as he wiped away the dried tears on his face with a sniffle. 

"Let me walk you home," Asahi offered, standing up as well.

"I'm good, I'll text you when I get there," Nishinoya muttered under his breath as he carried his school bag over his shoulder. 

He didn't even attempt to look behind him before he left, he could only imagine what look Asahi had on his face. Maybe he was glaring at him, or maybe he was frowning. Heck, he could've even been smiling at his retreating figure for all he knew.

But when he finally did get home, he immediately fished the phone out of his pocket and texted Asahi before entering his bedroom.

> I'm home.  
>  I want some time to think about things  
>  Don't talk to me for now.
> 
> _Okay, I'll be here if you need me._  
> 

_  
**I'm not one for relationships  
It's over-rated**   
_

He knew he was being petty himself. It wasn't Asahi's fault that Tokyo was his only choice but he just doesn't seem to believe that they could handle a long-distance relationship. 

_**We could still be lovers  
That's all I'm saying,** _

But who was to say what they were, anyway? Is it meant to be serious? Or was it just meant to pass some time in their high school lives? Shaking his head, he knew he wasn't going to get any answers unless he asked him.

> Nevermind, I have a question.  
>  What are we?
> 
> _What do you mean?_
> 
> Is our relationship serious? 
> 
> _Of course it is  
>  Why wouldn't it be?_
> 
> IDK.  
>  It's just something we never talked about.  
> 

He left it at that, not even bothering to check if he replied or not. Now that he thought about it, he never knew if Asahi was serious about him or not. And he certainly wasn't in the mood to ask him about it. 

_**And over all the others, you're the one all over me** _

Yet he can't help but also ask himself the same question- was he being serious about their relationship this whole time? If he can't tell, nobody probably could. Just what did he get himself into?

Being enticed by the beauty of the unknown, the pair of best friends dove into it. But they dove in too deep. Everything was magical as long as they had each other but where will it take them? Will they be driven apart? Will they be forced to stay together even when their feelings change? This territory they claim as theirs isn’t what it seems- how could something be so beautiful yet so terrifying at the same time?

_**I need your therapy** _

Maybe they were just best friends who liked to touch each other but had no regard for what their future with each other would be. He guessed that they both like- no, crave for each other’s company but that was about it. 

_**Need your therapy** _

Everything fell flat for him after that fact. Does he see the two of them still together in the future and does he want it? 

Shaking his head, he tried to distract himself from his haphazard thoughts. He shouldn't be thinking about the future right now if they can't handle their current problem… right? God, he hated this, he hated how he felt trapped within his own mind. Maybe some sleep would help him.

After unknowingly skipping dinner and a restless night, he found himself back at school the next day. He felt like walking on clouds- the lack of sleep due to crying really wore him down. And with wanting to not hurt himself any further, he made a promise to himself to avoid his partner. He wouldn't know what to say if he faced him. 

_**I'm fiendin' off, fiendin' off you** _

At first, Asahi had gone to the rambunctious boy’s class in hopes of talking to him only to be turned down by his classmates who said he didn’t want to see him. Lunch didn't go well either, as the said boy had hopped from one place to another just to avoid a certain tender-hearted man. And this continued on for the whole week- their very last week of school. 

He even went so far as to visit his house only to be ignored at the gates by Nishinoya himself as he refused to let anyone answer the doorbell being rung. And he'd admit, it did break his heart knowing how long he hid from Asahi because he was afraid of how things would go down. 

With every chime of the doorbell, he felt his heart crack as he bit his lip to keep the sobs trapped in his throat. Yet when silence followed after, he couldn't help but sit down by the front door and set his emotions free. He felt lonely, he felt sad, he felt regret, but most of all, he felt incomplete.

How he wished time would stay still for as long as he wanted so he could think this all through. Was he willing to push through the unseen boundaries in their relationship? Maybe. Was he willing to take in what his possibly frustrated boyfriend might say when he finally decides to talk to him? Perhaps. Finally, was he willing to trust him and himself when they couldn't find comfort in each other anymore now with distance factored into the equation? He doesn't know.

_**I'm needin', needin' you** _

It even reached the point of him not visiting the graduation ceremony of his friends- not when he had someone to avoid. God, he hated himself but he was so scared. He wanted to preserve what they had by running away from their problems, he believed that maybe a miracle would suddenly solve anything; that the man he liked (or loved) doesn’t have to leave Miyagi anymore. Oh, how naive he was.

Trapped within the heartbreak he brought upon himself, he stayed in his room since the beginning of summer break. Upon hearing the creaking of his door, he looked up to see his grandpa with a concerned look on his face. “Aye, youngster, what’s wrong these days? What’s bugging ya?” 

“There’s this guy I like,” he gulped, avoiding the boring gaze of his grandfather.

His grandpa sat beside him on his bed and pat him gently on his back. “Go on, kid.”

"He's leaving for college and it's in Tokyo, and I've been avoiding him all this time because I'm scared of what's gonna happen," he croaked, his voice faltering as his eyes started to well up once more.

His grandpa hummed, "Yuu, remember when you were young? When you used to be scared of everything?"

"Gee, grandpa, I'm not like that anymore," he smiled along with a slight sniffle of his nose.

"I know, kid, I know. What I meant to say was, it's okay to be scared until now. But I don't think it's okay to be scared and do nothing, no?" His grandpa chuckled. "So, go get 'im!"

_**I'm fiendin' off, fiendin' off you** _

His eyes widened as he looked at his grandpa who had nothing but a wide grin on his face, nodding to urge him to run after the man he sought for. "You're right, gramps, how could I be so stupid this whole time?!"

He burst out of his bedroom while hurriedly putting on slippers, rushing as fast as he could to where his partner lived. Trembling he gulped as he pressed the doorbell and hoped for the best as he tried to calm his racing heart.

"Oh, Nishinoya-kun?" A woman's voice filled his ears.

Looking up, he saw Asahi's mother. Breaking out into a nervous smile, his hand scratched the back of his head as he bowed his head low and sputtered out,"G-Good afternoon, Azumane-san! I'm sorry that I rushed here but is Asahi-san there?"

Smiling, the older woman waved her hand and said, "No worries, Nishinoya-kun. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Asa just left yesterday for Tokyo. He's off to live with his uncle to get used to the place already."

"I… I see," he mumbled before hurriedly bowing low again. "Thank you, Azumane-san!"

"You're welcome! Would you like to go in for some tea, dear?" The older woman's smile never left her face.

He felt his cheeks heat up, he definitely didn't want to bother them. "No, thank you! I just, I just really had something important to tell him."

Nodding, the woman couldn't help but giggle at how the younger boy in front of her acted. Putting her hand beside her mouth, she said softly, "Good luck with my son, Nishinoya-kun!"

She laughed at the flustered reaction she received before peacefully going back inside. 

Now, Nishinoya had one more option left. His hand clutched the phone in his pocket, feeling his heart racing once more, it’s now or never, he thought to himself. 

_**I'm needin', needin' you** _

Taking deep breaths before dialing the man he now knows he truly loves, he felt the world around him suddenly go down to a pause as he listened to the continuous ringing on his phone. He prayed to all the higher beings out there that his call would be picked up, at least just this once. If things don't go well because of all the shit he did, he'd want Asahi to know at least how much he meant to him even if he acted so cowardly. He deserves to know everything and have the choice if he wanted to try things out again or not.

_"Hello? Noya?"_

Before he knew it, he broke out into sobs. He missed his voice so much, he missed hearing his nickname from him, he missed him so much. "Asahi, I-I'm so sorry."

Crouching down, he wrapped an arm across his knees as he continued crying. He didn't bother hiding it from the man at the other end of the call, he wanted to stop hiding completely.

_"Hey, it's okay, I'm here. I'm listening."_

"I just wanted to say… that I still love you, I'm sorry for avoiding you, I'm sorry for hiding from you. I was," he sobbed, "So scared of how you'd react. I didn't know what to do. I ran away from everything when I shouldn't have. I'm just, I'm so sorry."

His words were borderline incoherent as he spoke while crying, but not once was he ever stopped with an annoyed voice. He was allowed to speak, he was allowed to tell him everything so that maybe they could work things out. 

_"Noya, I'll admit that I was hurt by everything but… nothing could ever stop me from loving you, you know? As dumb as others may call me, I'd drop everything for you. You know that."_

Oh, he's never felt so lucky in his whole life. If it were to be anyone else, they wouldn't have even picked up his call. "Do… Do you still wanna try this out? I-I do."

_"I wouldn't mind. It's gonna be hard but, nothing will work out if we don't even start, right?"_

He let out a breath of relief yet he still continued crying. Actually, he cried even harder.

_"Hey, hey, calm down. What's wrong? Are you okay?"_

He smiled slightly, choking on his own sobs before softly laughing. "I'm just so lucky to have you. I'm willing to work on everything I did wrong and I'm so glad you still love me."

_"I've always loved you, Noya. Since day one."_

"I love you, too, Asahi."


End file.
